Accepting help is one of the most needed things in motherhood, but may also be one of the hardest things to do. As mothers, we often feel this self-created pressure to do everything and be everything from sunup to sundown. The result is an exhausted and overspent mama who could really use a break. There’s a time for giving, and there’s a time for receiving, and when you feel the need to reach out for help from your trusted circle, you should be able to do so without guilt or shame. Let’s talk about ways you can ask for help and accept that help once it arrives.
How to Ask for Help
It may seem like a no-brainer, but actually asking for help may feel a little different once you become a mom. One of the best things you can do is create phases for how to ask for help. Not only does this normalize asking for help, but it also helps reduce those feelings of awkwardness you may feel at first.
Asking for help may sound like:
“I could really use some help around the house. Could you fold the towels or wash the dishes?”
Giving people options is one of the most basic ways to ask for help. It lets people know how to best spend their time, and you will get the help that you really want.
“Could you hold the baby for me for a few minutes?”
Sometimes, you may know exactly what you need help with the most. Don’t be afraid to simply ask people to do a specific task.
Be Prepared to Respond to Offers
You know your friends and family are going to ask, “What can I do to help?” and they mean it, they genuinely want to show their love and support. It’s a great idea to have a response ready for when people ask you what they can do to help. What’s ‘helpful’ looks different for everybody. You may want help with the baby or other children. Other people need help with household chores like sweeping or cooking. Here are some things you may want help with:
Tidying up the home
Preparing meals (freezer-friendly meals could be especially useful!)
Entertaining other children
Holding or feeding the baby
Think of some things that you would love help with, and don’t be afraid to ask for help when it’s offered.
What Should You Do While Others Help Out?
When you accept help, you may feel like you should be doing something with that free time. If the helper is holding the baby, you may feel pressured to fold laundry or take a shower. It’s important to know that it’s perfectly okay to do absolutely nothing when someone is taking over a task for you. Sometimes just having a moment to yourself is exactly how you need to spend your time. Breathe in. Breathe out. Consider taking a nap or doing another peaceful activity. Accept the care that’s surrounding you.
For more helpful information like this, consider taking one of our courses led by seasoned professionals. We are dedicated to helping moms along their journey, and we’d love to be a resource you can count on!